Hold Your Babies Close

Life here is not easy, but sometimes it is just too hard.  Today is one of those days.  

We have had a little 1 1/2 year old child, Baby John* staying with us for one week due to receive treatment for severe malnutrition, HIV and TB.

He has been receiving food every 3 hours around the clock.  This morning, after he took his 4 AM porridge, he went back to sleep and never woke up.   The mother left at 6 to take the body back to the village for burial.  

Brenda shared the news with me at around 7.  My morning seemed to stop.  I was just telling my mother yesterday that I thought he would make it!  I said, “He is stubborn.  He is a fighter.  He should be okay.”

I was wrong.

Then, within the hour, one of our former choir members, Ronah, came to the door.  She was very stoic and stiff.  

I greeted her; “Good morning.”

“I have come to report. . . that (sobbing) my baby brother (sobbing harder and gasping) has died.”  The burial is also today.

By this time Anna was walking around, laughing and talking to me about anything and everything.  All I could do was snatch her up and hug her tight.  I didn’t want to let her go.  I began thanking God for saving Anna.  I could have just as easily attended her burial a year ago.  I thanked the Lord for bringing Anna to me.  I thanked him for giving me the blessing of hearing her call me “Mama”. I thanked Him for letting me share my love and life with her.

I can’t imagine what these parents are going through right now.  My heart breaks for them and I must put it aside. I can’t dwell on it.  There are things that must be done.  The day continues.  

I fed Anna breakfast.  I didn’t have school, too much going on.  We took our slow walk to the VOE school, arriving early because I walked with just Anna.  I wanted to be with just her for a bit - not sharing with the other 4 kids.  Selfish?  

Then, I had a supervisor’s meeting.  It is easy to think, that could be postponed.  But, life goes on here.  It must.  Death is so common here - childhood death from malnutrition, malaria, Thyphoid Fever  - the child is buried quickly with very few in attendance and then life continues.  I have attended many burials for children. They are never easy but I seen that it seems to be so common that people accept it and move on.

I must admit that I don’t know how I could do it.  I pray I never have to experience it with one I am close to. 

I had school with Anna after she returned from the VOE school.  Not becuase I was worried about missing this morning, but because I wanted to spend time with her.  Just her.  I wanted to be close to her and hear her talk, watch her.  Be thankful that God chose to save her and heal her.  

Hold your babies tight.